Are You Kidding Me? 3 Weeks??

Well, it's not officially less than 3 weeks away from the day that I will marry the best fella in the world. I'd love to say that I'm super excited, but right now, I can't wait to be married to Jerry and I'm excited to be his wife. But I'm not very excited for the day of, I don't think. Not yet anyway, maybe the Wednesday before the wedding when I don't have to worry about work anymore.
I have kind of gotten over the stress at work thing. I still know that I'm done with this line of work, but I'm at the point where I'll survive for the next couple weeks. Probably because I have a plan now. Once we get back from the honeymoon, I want to get my name changed right away. After that's all set, I'll get enrolled in school, then start throwing applications at some stores like Williams-Sonoma, Stonewall Kitchen, Papyrus, L.L. Bean. I'm hoping they'll be looking for Holiday help at that time. I'd prefer Williams-Sonoma or Stonewall Kitchen. I figure I'll work my ass off during the holidays and school break, then I'll start school in January. Probably still be working my ass off.

Nothing Like Fried Green Tomatoes...

What a great freakin' movie... Anyway.... I got to have the house to myself tonight. It has been a VERY long time since that's happened. I pampered myself big time. I used a face mask, and lip mask, and showered with a sugar scrub and did my nails. I just wanted to relax today, and I'm glad I got a chance to. I've wanting to do things so much on my days off lately, that I have feel like I couldn't catch up. But it was nice to not have to do anything.
Otherwise, my life has been consumed with mostly wedding. I've wrapped my attendant gifts and began writing my thank you's for the girls. Speaking of my girls, I talked to Robin today and I guess Asia's dress is huge on her. And that was the smallest size they had and the alterations that need to get done will probably cost as much as the dress did. I feel bad that she has to go through all that. I've also been looking for hairstyles for Robin to pick for the wedding today. She said she couldn't make up her mind, so I picked out about 7 for her to pick from. They're all pretty cute I think, but the wavy ones, I think would look best with her hair. I'm so excited and I just can't wait for the wedding. I have about 23 days left and it's coming up quick. Tomorrow I'm meeting up with the young man who is playing guitar at our ceremony and then I can put the programs together.
Then the week after that, LA's birthday is Thursday and my Bachelorette Party is on Friday. I'm so excited, but a little freaked out because after that weeked in will actually be October. Then that leaves 14 days to go. Oh my god! This is crazy. It'll be time to bake cookies before I know it!

Everything Is Falling Into Place & The Drive In

So the deadline is up. We've falling into about 94 people coming to the wedding. Not too bad considering I was a little concerned about having too many people for the room that we have, but it looks like everything is gonna work out perfect. And I'm at the point now, where I'm not freaking out about anything and just letting it roll. And everything will be fine. So far, that's working, so if it ain't broke, right?
The last few details just need to be ironed out and then we will be in business and ready for gettin' hitched! I'm excited, not so nervous, but definately ready for it all to be over and not really have to think about it anymore. I just want to be Mrs.

And last night, Jerry and I had a date night. I had never been to the Drive-In Theater before and Jerry has always wanted to take me. So last night was the night. We filled the back of my SUV with blankets and pillows. We threw up the hatch and then watched Superbad out the back of my truck. It was so nice to be able to cuddle under the blankets and then you know, make out a little. ;) We don't generally do date stuff so it was nice to be out of the house, but still be comfortable.

I'm Getting Married in 32 Days...

Last night, Jerry and I got together with our Justice of the Peace. He's so freaking awesome. He is an English teacher at a private school in Hartford, and he has just a great, jolly, theatrical personality. I think that picking him as our JP was the best decision that Jerry and I made about this wedding. And I'm glad because the actual ceremony is the most important thing about this whole getting married thing. It was great to have his reassurance that everything will go beautifully, and I love the fact that he loves the arrangement I made for the ceremony. It makes me feel very confident. The other great thing about our JP is that he wouldn't take any money, he just asked that we make a donation to Habitat for Humanity. He's just the coolest.
And today when I got home, I dyed my garter red, I cut out my hankie cards and my camera cards for the tables, and I made an appointment with the guitarist, and got together with Sam for the details for myBachelorette Party in a couple weeks! I feel accomplished today. But right now, I'm exhausted. I haven't been up until midnight in a long time...

My Second Kayaking Trip...

What an adventure we had today... We woke up this morning with all plans for Jerry and I to go kayaking today. And tomorrow I have plans to go out kayaking with my cousin and her fiance. So today we went to EMS in Manchester to rent our kayaks, just to find out that I really should have put my name down ahead of time(even though when I called them THREE times about renting, nobody suggested to me that maybe I should reserve the boats I wanted, but anyway). So after being a little disappointed, we ended up renting two 12ft boats from the EMS in West Hartford, and then took them down to Bolton Lake. Jerry actually had a really good time, better than he expected. He really started to seem like he was having fun once he let his guard down a bit.
The strapping down of my kayak onto my "sport utility vehicle", was a mess. I have dual exhaust pipes on either side of my car in the back, making it impossible to tie the stern to the back with the nylon straps they give you without it melting next to the exhaust. Which happened and I needed to pull over on the side of the highway to fix it. And then on the way back was a fiasco, too because the kayak kept shifting on top of my car because it was so windy I guess. I was so scared I was going to loose it off the top and it fly off in the middle of Downton Hartford on I-84 and cause and accident. But I got it there in one piece and I can't wait to go again, tomorrow. I'm just hoping the person in Manchester could maybe figure something out better to tie the kayak down. I really want the Thule Hulla-port rack for the kayak, because I definately want to invest in one by next year. :)

It's Looking Like I'm Using Titles Again...

Today was a much better day at work, even though I had to be there from 6:30am to 7:00pm. I used the Rescue Remedy Pastilles before I went on the floor with the dogs, and I really think that it helped me hold my patience and tolerance longer. After about 2 hours, I started feeling irritated at some of the dogs again. But for the most part, everyone had either gone into naptime on the morning shift, or left on the afternoon shift, by the time those 2 hours were up. Today was only my first day using it, but I have confidence that it will help me for now and I guess that's all I really need. I'm just trying to get by at this point.
Jerry came to visit me at lunch today and brought Panera. I originally wanted this Strawberry Chicken Salad with Poppyseeds, but apparently that was just a summer thing. Instead, he brought me this really freakin' awesome Asian Sesame Chicken Salad. It had cilantro in it and the dressing was to die for. I was tasting it the whole rest of the day. It's a definate "get it again". And then when I got home, he had a wonder salmon dinner waiting for me. It was really good, too. It had a honey balsamic mustard sauce with roasted potatoes and corn on the cob. He's the best.
I didn't have much time to do much else today, I showered and meditated. I'm trying to make meditation a daily habit for me, at least once a day, if not twice. Morning and Night. I found a couple podcast guided mediations that are helping a lot, but I still have a lot of work to do before I can relax enough to allow my body to surrender. I didn't do to well tonight, but I'll try again tomorrow.
I think I'm going kayaking again this weekend! Yeah! Jerry said he would go with me on Saturday, and my cousin LA and her fiance want to go on Sunday. I'm so excited to go again. It's gonna be so much fun. But I gotta get up early in the morning again, so off to my sweet sweet slumber.

Three Strikes

All the stress and pressure that I had been feeling about work this weekend, were absolutely tossed in my face today. I went out with the dogs for the first half of the afternoon, and my anxiety level was at an all time high. I was grinding my teeth(which I noticed that I have been doing a lot of that lately, all the time, not just at work), and just lost all patience. All the dogs were awful with each other and I just felt like I had absolutely no control over the situation at all. With that being stated, I feel like I'm close to another break down and this would be the third that I have had just being at this job for 2 years. Unfortunately, this third one doesn't seem to be fused by my other coworkers as it has in the past. This time it's the dogs. I don't feel a connection with most of them anymore. Of course, there are the few that I absolutely adore, but most of them, when I look at them, I get nothing but a feeling of frustration. And that's not healthy, for me or for them.
Three strikes and I'm out. I realized today that it's time to get looking to move on. And like I said yesterday, I'm scared, but it's something that I really have to do to regain my mind and soul. This job was supposed to be awesome for my psyche. I was going to have constant contact with animals. But I think that there is such a thing as "too much of a good thing" and dealing with 50 different dogs everyday is like working the lunch patrol in a high school where all the kids do shitty things to each other and no one has any idea why. I hate high school kids, I hated high school kids when I was a high school kid. It's just not something I have the patience to put up with. I guess, it's just time to move on. There is a physical therapy office in town that I'm going to see if they need a receptionist/secretary. Just to get my feet wet in the therapy industry. But we'll see if that works out.
Until I do find a replacement job, I found something that I hope will be able to get me through an ordinary work day. I went to Whole Foods after work today to get some shitake mushrooms for a stir fry I am making on Thursday, and to see if they sold books(which I didn't see), and I had heard about a Bach Flower Remedy called Rescue Remedy from my old Naturopathic Physician I went to. She never suggested it to me, because I was never is super stressful situations that I couldn't handle then. But I knew it came highly recommended by her so I looked for it in the vitamin aisle. Now I only remembered it in liquid drop form, but the sales girl there, showed me that they had little pastilles, that you can suck on or just put under your tongue. So I figured that would be a lot easier for me to do before and while being with the dogs, rather than the drops. So I purchased them, and I have all intentions of trying it out tomorrow.
Another thing I am doing to try to combat the stress I'm feeling and just to just try to get back into my own head, is meditation. I have discovered the wonderful world of Podcasts. They have awesome guided meditations and have done a few so far and I seem to like it. But I have written alot already today so I'll talk more about it on a day that I have nothing to talk about.

Jumping Hurdles?

So even though I've had a pretty good last few days, I don't feel right. And I'm thinking that I'm going through a transitional period in my life. Of course, I am, right? I'm getting married in 40 days. Sure, that's a big thing, but that is the last thing on my mind right now. I'm worried about changing career fields and how to go about it. I plan on going back to school in the spring, but I don't know what to do while I'm there for work. I think it would have to be more afternoon and night work, because the classes run during the day. I've never done that kind of work before, restaurant, retail, etc. , I've always been an AM shift kinda girl. And I guess that worries me, but I'm also very worried about moving into another career. I've been doing this for 7 years, since I was 16, my entire work experience is in the pet care industry. Getting away from that is a little scary to me. But I just don't feel like I used to when I was with the dogs. I feel me losing my patience with them quicker and I just feel emotionally beat up. I think we just have too many dogs that are unstable and it's transferring into me. Not to mention, it's pretty dead end. I make pretty good money for what I do in this industry, but don't let me fool you. That is still not enough to make a living on. That's another reason why I don't have a desire to just try going somewhere else. This was my dream job. And now I know I should have never put it up on a pedestal like that. But at the same time, maybe I'm just feeling like I got over that hurdle and accomplished working what I thought was my dream job. And maybe it's just time for a new hurdle to jump.

Culinary Queen

When I was on my way home from work yesterday morning, I felt so good. I was organized at work and and the air was nice and crisp. So I stopped at the Farmer's Market on the Green and felt inspired. I saw some beautiful, fresh butternut squash and then instantly thought SOUP! I love making real Butternut Squash Apple Soup. So I picked up the squash, some apples, and celery. So I spent most of my Saturday making it. It was really good!
Then today, my dad was going to make Meatloaf for dinner, and since his way of making meatloaf is mixing ground turkey and salsa together... I put a kibosh on that. I made the meatloaf with carrots, celery, onion and garlic, plus other stuff, but that's what makes it good, I think. And then Dad asked what we were going to have for dinner. So I said we have red potatoes and I still had some Havarti Dill Cheese and light cream left over from other creations so I put those together for Mashed Potatoes. Oooo... Those ended up being real good. Just needs a little bit more cheese next time, but otherwise very good. Not sure what's gotten into me, but I love it. I think the fact that it's not so hot out, the kitchen doesn't get uncomfortably hot. But anyway, we'll see what I cook up tomorrow!